Human nature clue: Everyone wants to feel important. This need to feel valued and appreciated is built into our system. It's why kids on the playground don't want to be the last one picked to play a game of pick-up basketball. Or - even worse - not picked at all. Ultimately, it's not about the missed opportunity to showcase our basketball skills. It's about not being wanted. It's about feeling overlooked and unimportant. As we grow older, we might even develop unhealthy ways of compensating for our perceived lack of importance. Bullying Bragging Giving inappropriate intimacy New cars New wife or husband Bigger house Another new wife or husband Workaholism Chemical addiction Sexual addiction Another new car Sarcasm Belittling others Sadly, many people are shiny on the outside and hollow inside. As a leader, spouse, parent, or friend ... how do we recognize a person's God-given need to feel important…
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I've been accused of reading too many books written by dead people. Obviously, they wrote their books while alive - but that might have been centuries ago. As you read good books from across the ages, you begin to realize that human nature has remained relatively unchanged. Our basic needs, desires, fears, hopes, and ambitions are just that - basic. They are hard-wired into what it means to be human. How we express and fulfill those needs, desires, fears, hopes, and ambitions have changed ... and they haven't changed. We still need social interaction and want to feel loved. We have an internal desire to grow and develop. If Martin Luther had lived in the 21st Century, he might have nailed his 95 theses to a virtual wall on Facebook. But he would have nailed them somewhere. Which brings me to Aristotle, a fellow whose writings are even older than…
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While we live in a world of splinters and contradictions, we are hard-wired for connections. Literally. Our brains are designed to make connections, find patterns, and are troubled by dissonance. This is why understanding the power of nonverbal communication is vital. Our words say, "I'm happy" but our face tells a different story. I tell my wife, "I'm not upset" but my eyebrows are narrowed and I'm squinting at her through beady eyes! These mixed signals create red flags within our brains. This is why the most effective leaders, communicators, parents, and presenters are actively engaged in developing better self-awareness. For me to have good self-awareness, I must understand two things: Who I am How I appear to others Simply doing introspection isn't enough. It's important - even necessary. But knowing yourself better is only half of the equation. Let's say through introspection I discover that my tone of voice…
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Amy Boone of Ethos3 has an excellent article entitled, "How to Overcome Presentation Distractions." It's about how to minimize noise to improve the effectiveness of your presentations. One of the first things that struck me was research from the University of California Irvine. It found that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds to regain attention and focus after encountering a distraction. Holy cow! If you're making a 30 minute presentation, any distraction might cost you the full impact of your message. The article goes on to point out two types of "noise" -- or distractions. As presenters, we have more control over one than the other. In broad strokes, there is external and internal noise. External noise consists of: Environment - this is the physical room and the various elements in it (phones, alarms, beeps, burps) Message - this refers to unnecessary (or hard-to-understand) jargon Presentation…
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What is the difference between being a boss and being a leader? It's not your title, rank, position on the org chart, or the location of your office. Any of these might describe a boss or leader. It's also not just a matter of semantics, a play on words. In both cases, they are surrounded by people. A boss is surrounded by employees. A leader has followers. Employees can be hired. Followers must be earned. This might seem like a simple shift in thinking, but it has the potential to inflate or deflate your influence -- and, therefore, your effectiveness. So ... two questions: How do you want people to see you? As a boss or a leader? How do you see the people who work with you? As employees or followers? Start the Conversation Professor at Warner University masters in business administration (mba) presenter at the WFX National Conference…
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