Let's admit it: we want growth, health, and success to be easy. It's why many people are drawn to the message of infomercials. "Here's your problem. This easy solution solves your problem. Buy now and we'll double your order." That's not how it happens. When it comes to growth, health, or success, it takes work. Nearly every overnight success took years to accomplish. Why do we look for the easy way? Well, because it is ... easy. Easy is comfortable and we like to be comfortable. We like our comfort zones, safe and well-defined, predictable. Study any accomplished person who is making a difference, whether that's a mom, coach, scientist, or volunteer at a local shelter. Look for what sets them apart from people who have the same level of natural talent or ability, but who are sitting on the sidelines. How did they become successful? At some point, they…
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As a leader, one of my most important responsibilities is being a good steward of the resources entrusted to me. While we most often think in terms of financial resources, I would argue that our most valuable assets are the people we lead. In the last two posts, I talked about two ways to help people feel valued: pay attention to them and give compliments. Here's tip number three: #3 Be Honest How does it feel when someone lies to you? If you're like me (and most everybody else), it doesn't feel too good. Depending on the lie, it might range from annoyance to anger. Why does lying bother us so much? Would we have a different reaction if it was a "nice lie," one intended to make us feel better about ourselves? Probably not. In fact, that might even be worse. Lying bothers us because it communicates this: I…
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In my last post, I wrote about the importance of helping people feel valued. As a leader, this is more an attitude than a tactic. In other words, it first begins as a matter of principle and then manifests itself as a practice. Tip number one was to pay attention to people. Here's tip number two: #2 Give Compliments (and say "thank you") We've all known people who struggle to give compliments. I'm not sure why, whether it stems from personal insecurity or jealousy or just complacency. Whatever the reason, a lack of gratitude eventually suffocates the fire. When you give a compliment or say thank you, what you are really saying is this: I noticed you. By telling someone that what they did was worthwhile, you are also communicating that they have worth, too. This is more than positive reinforcement. This goes to a person's identity - how they…
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One of the most important responsibilities of a leader is to help others feel valued. This is true whether your leadership position is at work, as a parent, or as part of a peer group. We've all worked with people who devalued those around them. It might have stemmed from insecurity or poor training. Regardless, the results are the same. Over time, devalued people become demotivated and demoralized. Simply put, everyone suffers. When a person feels valued, they work harder, with more passion, and the overall team is strengthened. Over the next few blog posts, I want to share a few simple ways we can communicate to people that they matter. These aren't graduate level instructions. In fact, most of life doesn't require graduate level instructions (unless you're studying brain surgery!). #1 - Pay Attention to People It's OK to not pay attention to people ... when no one is…
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The most effective people I know share at least one thing in common: they want to be better. They want to be a better mom or dad, a better listener, a better steward of their finances, a better friend, a better coworker, a better leader. In other words, they not only want to improve - they know they need to. I'm sure you've met the person who acts like they've already arrived and have stopped growing. It's not a matter of age, whether you are young or old. It's an attitude. But maybe it's even more than just an attitude. As I've worked with people (and done my own fair share of soul searching), I've become convinced that this desire to improve is more a belief than just an attitude. Do I believe I can be a better version of myself? Not a better version of someone else, but a…
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